A little Update

My Dad is doing better! He is up walking around and eating. The doctors thing he will be discharged on Sunday and then he will be able to come home!

A big thanks for all the concern/thoughts/prayers. I know my whole family appreciates it.


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My Daddy

I guess something in my heart just knew. Yesterday I couldn't stop crying I was so thankful for my parents. I even felt like I should send them a message, letting them know I love them. They're on a cruise in Alaska...

Today my dad had a major heart attack. He was on a tour in Denali National Park. They had to fly him to Fairbanks and he is in the ICU at a hospital there.

My mom said he is doing better and I even got to talk to him for a second. They don't know when he will be ok to travel home. Hopefully soon...

Pray for him. Please.

Love,
Melissa Jane


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in loving memory

There are lots of things I hope to remember about this memorial day. Carter and elephants under the blankets. Shawn's excitement about his first air show. The most beautiful weather. A simple feeling of contentedness. Watching the stars in the night sky...

But as this day comes to a close I can't help but think of all the people who have left this life since this day last year. I'm sure years usually go by without anyone I know passing away. But not this year. There are four people that come to mind (although I think there might be others). Some I knew well. Others I had only met once or twice. Their lives and subsequently their deaths have affected me and those I love and care about.

I am so grateful everyone who is still alive. I feel so blessed. Family is so so so important. Ancestors. Current. Those yet to come. We are all connected. Don't forget anyone...

In Loving Memory

Granny

"Grandpa Bill"

Heather's Mom

Grandpa Brock


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22 months of Motherhood

I have been a mom for exactly 22 months. What a life changing experience! I love being a mom, and I love my little boy. Carter truly makes being a mom great. I wouldn't be the mother I am today without him. Thanks buddy! I hope I'm always a good mom... I learn more everyday. Sometimes it's hard, but seeing this face makes it all worth it!





Happy Mothers Day!!

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Random

Our Mac is dying. It makes me sad. :( It might be like 6+ years old. Which is like what? 87 in computer years?

Carter is napping. Instead of doing what I'm supposed to, I'm watching TV. New Girl. So funny.

My birthday is this month. I'll be 27. That feels old. Seriously? That is really close to 30!

Ok that's all.


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The place I am right now

So I feel like lately I've been reading some open personal deep blogs...and it's not something I usually do. I'm not sure why, but tonight I'm in the mood to write. I guess my mind is just in a thoughtful place. Today I was chatting with my mother in law about Stephanie Nielson's book, Heaven is Here. (which I really enjoyed) she commented that she loved how Stephanie was so open about just wanting to be married and have kids. And I guess it got me thinking. I am not one of those girls. I don't remember what I wanted to be when I was little, but it wasn't a "mother". I still don't know what I want. I knew I'd finish college. I hoped to get married and I figured I would have kids...but not for a while. It's just part of life. You get married and have kids. To be honest I never thought much past college goal wise. I was always frustrated when school counselors would want me to pick what I wanted to do. I had no clear path. I am good at just about anything I try. But I have longed to be excel at something. You know. To tell me, "This, this is what you should be doing" I haven't found it yet. Sometimes I feel so lost. I could do anything I wanted, but I don't want to do anything. I thought about getting my Masters degree, but what would I get it in?? I can't answer that, so I won't go until I do. Right now I'm a mom. I love Carter. I am so excited for this new baby. But being a mom is hard. It stresses me out. I'm doing ok, but it seriously takes everything I have. I am happy in this space. Being home is a great adventure. But it doesn't come easy, and I sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am. Or what I like or want. Right now I have a chunk of money to spend. On whatever I want. For me. It's just sitting in the bank because I can't think of anything. Oh I thought of a swing set for Carter, or using it for house projects, but that isn't for me... I don't really want to go clothes shopping. I thought about giving it to my cousin's family, cuz they are good people going through a rough time, but I wouldn't want her to think it was out of pity. And the stipulation is that it's my money to spend on whatever I want. I can't think of anything I want to buy. Seriously? Is there something wrong with me? It's my birthday this month. I can't think of a single thing to ask for. Life is good. It's not perfect, but I love my husband and he takes care of us. If I need something I can buy it, we have a roof over our heads and food on the shelves. I hope I don't sound ungrateful, because I am. I never thought I would reach this point in my life...where I didn't want for much of anything. It's incredible and I have no idea why I've been so blessed. Sometimes I feel guilty. My life is just good. And trust me it's not from anything I do. And it's not perfect, and there is so much we could do around this house of ours (hello fixer upper!) and my cooking could definitely improve. Those are just nice things. "Boy wouldn't it be nice if..." Anyway. I can think of one thing I want. And you can't buy it with money. At least not good ones. And I've forgotten how to make or keep them :( Anyway. I can't stop crying, so I'm gonna go to bed now...