A Lesson in Humility

Today started out wrong. I was experiencing what I like to call the 'post Conference blues'. I might be imagining this, but the Monday after General Conference is THE hardest day for me. It's down right horrible. I'm in a bad mood and it seems nothing goes right. So it was today. I was sad. This morning I was so sad. I didn't want to do anything. Totally one of those climb 'back in bed and pull the covers over your head' kind of mornings. I don't consider myself a quitter, so I got up and went to work, but had a sour attitude all day. Shawn had purchased tickets to a benefit concert for tonight...and even though bands/musicians I liked were going to be there, I didn't feel like going. I would have to rush to get my work done so I could hurry home. I started to think, maybe Shawn should just go, or call one of his friends to take my ticket because I am just not in the mood for this! We didn't really get to eat dinner-I was feeling ugly and gross-but we went.

I am so glad we went.

The concert was called, "Living for Eden" and it was a benefit concert for Paul Cardall. It was amazing. Paul suffers from a congenital heart disease. Last year his heart started to fail and he was put on the organ donor list...to await a heart transplant. He is still waiting.

The sole purpose of the concert was to raise money to help Paul and his family (his wife and little girl Eden). ALL of the proceeds will go to them. The concert was sold out, they had a silent auction before hand with some super cool items. [I think we seriously considered putting in a bid for the basketball signed by all the Jazz players for the 08-09 season, but decided we couldn't afford it] People could make donations and buy raffle tickets. The high school where it was held was PACKED. Performances from Kurt Bestor, Ryan Shupe and The Rubber Band, Peter Breinholt, Colors and more. My next door neighbor's son Michael Ferguson [who I've know basically my whole life] even played the piano for Colors! It was wonderful.

It was such a humbling experience for me. All I day I had been in a bad mood--over nothing. Over stupid little silly things...that won't even matter tomorrow or in a year. All these musicians came together to create a beautiful experience to help their friend... Because he wants to watch his little girl grow up. Because he feels music inside his heart and right now he doesn't have the energy to compose it. Because he wants to help all the little children who suffer from similar problems that he is experiencing and he feels lucky enough to have lived to be 36, unlike some of the children he has met...who may not live more than 1 year. Although there were some definite tear-jerker moments, the focus was on celebrating life. I loved it. I'm not even sure I can explain it, but I am so grateful for my life. For my husband. For my family. For my health. For the beautiful earth. For the temple and its promises. For good people [that I now know are still out there]. Sometimes I think I get so caught up on the negative, on what I'm missing, on what's wrong...I don't notice or appreciate the important little things...and they pass me by.

I learned a lot tonight, in my heart, in the best of ways. My favorite part of the concert was the very end when Paul got up with his wife & little girl and thanked everyone...and then played a song on the piano. It's basically the only song he has written in the past 7-8 months. There was so much emotion, and so much spirit in that song...I cried. The song touched my heart. It was beautiful, and although I don't know Paul at all, well, I hope he gets that heart and lives a long full life.

...I hope I do too...

"Just don't know what to do with myself"

So Shawn has been out of town, but he gets home in roughly 2 hours. I'm super excited! But, I don't know what to do for the next 2 hours until I have to go pick him up from the airport. I've cleaned the bathroom, done the dishes, I'm in the process of doing the laundry, I've watched enough TV to last a life time and I don't want to watch another minute. So...the moral of this story is, well, the title. I "just don't know what to do with myself". I could clean more, but I'm sick of it. I don't want to spend the next 2 hours checking his flight status every 5 minutes...Any ideas? [Not that anyone I know will be up and checking my blog at 10:20pm to give a suggestion haha]

Realizations

Realization #1: I am one of those wives whose husbands go on business trips...and I'm 23.

Realization #2: I truly miss having Shawn around. Particularly for the simple things like turning off the lights, taking out the garbage, turning up the heat and reminding me to go to the grocery store.

Realization 3#: We, as human beings, are capable of doing so much with our lives. It all comes down to decisions. I'm struggling with a few decisions right now that I figure are life altering. The hardest part is knowing one decision will change the course of my [and our] life.

Realization #4: Distance makes my heart grow fonder...

Realization #5: I don't care what you say-Seeing this alone is better than waking up to a snow storm the last weekend of March.


Realization #6: A good friend is some one you enjoy spending time with, even if you aren't doing anything specific.

Realization #7: Values and Standards and Beliefs ARE important and worth standing by/for.

Realization #8: I have a wonderful family. Immediate, In-laws, Extended, You name it.

Realization #9: The Lord Blesses me [and Shawn] so much. Sometimes I feel so undeserving of all the blessings we receive. I have so much to be grateful for each and every day. How ungrateful I feel sometimes knowing that some how my life just "works" and there are people just struggling to survive--to have their basic needs met; and I am not satisfied.

Realization #10: I could realize something new Everyday and it would not mean anything until I did something about each one.

I guess we get to see what I do about all of these Realizations huh? That's all for now. Goodnight...

Man vs. Wild...iPhone v. Stick

Shawn and I happen to be fans of backcountry.com and their affiliate websites (Steepandcheap, Whiskey, Tramdock, etc). Because of this, I happen to receive emails from Backcountry.com. Today I received a newsletter that was too good to pass up. It is entitled

Backcountry Tool Showdown; iPhone vs. Stick

I read it, and laughed so hard. Maybe its because we just bought iPhones. Maybe it's because my husband is an outdoors-man and wants to try surviving in the wilderness with basically nothing. Either way, if you like iPhones, and you like the outdoors, you should take a glance at it. I enjoyed it, and hope you do too. Check it out here when you get a chance.

ll = Parallel

Shawn and I have had our fair share of little adventures lately. Yesterday we went up to Brighton Ski Resort and went night skiing (with a 2 for 1 pass of course). It was so fun! I'm re-learning how to ski and this was my second time in basically 10 years (or more). I am proud to say that I am successfully completing Parallel Turns! It was/is a miracle and I am so excited!! During one run yesterday I told Shawn I couldn't wait to show his Mom (because I knew Carrie would be proud of me too!) Ahh. It was a great evening-I actually enjoyed skiing, Shawn and I didn't fight (which seems to happen when we ski together), my legs are sore, and I Can't wait to do it again! Although, I'm not sure how many more times we'll be able to go--as it is mid-March and the snow is melting like it is going out of style...

Happy Birthday SPB!

Shawn turns 24 today. Wow we're getting old eh? I'm super excited for his B-day this year. I hope he likes his presents and what I have planned...although I think its already Not going according to plan, but that's okay. I figure its his Birthday, so when it comes down to it, he can do whatever he wants!

Happy Birthday Honey!!!

Little Angels

I thought I would post a little update about our brand new nieces, since I haven't really said anything since they were born. And we got to hold both of them this passed Sunday.

Adah was born on February 12, 5 1/2 weeks early. She has spent the past 2 weeks in the NICU at the hospital. Luckily, she was able to come home on Sunday March 1, 2009. Shawn and I were able to hold her for the first time! We had previously only been able to see her through a window. She still has a monitor that checks her breathing and heart rate, but we are just so excited that she was able to come home!

Lucy was born on February 25, and she was 5 days late. She was able to come home 2 days after she was born. Her mom is already enjoying dressing her up. Lucy is the first grandbaby on the Brock side, and everyone in the family is smitten with her.