Snakes.
Spiders.
Sharks.
But lately, I am so afraid of losing my kids to Satan. Seriously. It is a scary world out there. There is so much evil. I hate that my kids will have to grow up in such sinful environment. I am worried that I won't teach them good enough. I don't know how to protect them. I don't know how to make sure they make good/right decisions. I don't know how to teach them to be good responsible human beings. Right now they are beautiful and pure. I don't want the world to taint them. I know that it's my job to love them, to teach them and show them the way. I don't know if I'm strong enough. And I am so afraid.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Motherhood.
I am never alone. Most of the time, someone else is touching me.
I lift, hold, pick up, carry, snuggle, nurse, wipe, hug, catch and more. By the end of the day I'm so tired of being touched. But...
I love it.
I lift, hold, pick up, carry, snuggle, nurse, wipe, hug, catch and more. By the end of the day I'm so tired of being touched. But...
I love it.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Blog Lovin'
My blog shout out goes to Carla over at flight of the thorups. I love Carla. I don't think she really knows...maybe she'll read this and get a glimpse. It's about to get real.
I met Carla in the fall of 2007, when we started working together. We were both newly married. Getting married is a huge life adjustment. It just is. Shawn and I moved to Salt Lake, I had just graduated from college, working at my first full time job. Shawn was working full time and going to school. I didn't know anyone. I am not great at making friends, but once I make them. I love them. I am so loyal. It's kinda funny to me. I'm horrible at maintaining friendships, but if you're my friend, I'd do anything for you. Even if I haven't talked to you in years. I think I have this awkward one sided attachment with most of my friends. Anyway, back to Carla and how awesome she is. I was in desperate need of a friend. Carla was that friend. She was a ray of sunshine in my life. She was (and is) so real. We would talk about anything. Some of those hard to talk about subjects when you're first married. It was so nice to have a friend who was going through the same things and we could openly talk about it. It grew from a work friendship, to a lets hang out--we became couple friends. Matt and Shawn get along. (hallelujah!) It was so nice. Man. Then Carla and Matt decided to go to Ecuador. That's when I really became a member of the blogging world. I started reading Carla's blog about her adventures. She is the reason I started blogging. It was her sweet insight that pushed me to do it. I was so excited when Carla came back from Ecuador, and she came back to the law office! We became better friends, and I truly think of her as one of my better friends. Unfortunately I haven't kept it up as well as I should. You see, she bought a house. And then we bought a house...in Davis County. I kept working at the law office, so I'd see and talk to her everyday, but we didn't hang out as couples anymore. Then I had Carter and I quit working there. I can't even believe it's almost been 3 years. And we rarely see each other. Now I read her blog, and follow her on instagram. Occasionally, we hang out. I miss her.
Carla is so...Oh Carla how do I describe you? A go getter? When she wants something. She does it. And she rocks it. She is out there creating her life the way she wants it to be. I love her for that. I feel like she's outgrown me, (insert frowny face). I've been pretty stagnant lately. I stay home a lot, and I'm not pushing myself. Some days I wish I could visit her and talk to her again. Then I feel like I don't have anything to say. Ugh. Unless its about diapers or breastfeeding or poop. There are only so many times you can talk about these things and then people don't want to be your friends anymore. Some days I don't want to be my friend anymore. But Carla, I will always want to be Carla's friend. She is the person who makes you feel better and more confident about yourself without even trying. She exudes energy and love. She is my original blogger friend. So go check out her blog, because then you'll love her too. (and then I'll probably get jealous, cuz I'm like that)
Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member
I met Carla in the fall of 2007, when we started working together. We were both newly married. Getting married is a huge life adjustment. It just is. Shawn and I moved to Salt Lake, I had just graduated from college, working at my first full time job. Shawn was working full time and going to school. I didn't know anyone. I am not great at making friends, but once I make them. I love them. I am so loyal. It's kinda funny to me. I'm horrible at maintaining friendships, but if you're my friend, I'd do anything for you. Even if I haven't talked to you in years. I think I have this awkward one sided attachment with most of my friends. Anyway, back to Carla and how awesome she is. I was in desperate need of a friend. Carla was that friend. She was a ray of sunshine in my life. She was (and is) so real. We would talk about anything. Some of those hard to talk about subjects when you're first married. It was so nice to have a friend who was going through the same things and we could openly talk about it. It grew from a work friendship, to a lets hang out--we became couple friends. Matt and Shawn get along. (hallelujah!) It was so nice. Man. Then Carla and Matt decided to go to Ecuador. That's when I really became a member of the blogging world. I started reading Carla's blog about her adventures. She is the reason I started blogging. It was her sweet insight that pushed me to do it. I was so excited when Carla came back from Ecuador, and she came back to the law office! We became better friends, and I truly think of her as one of my better friends. Unfortunately I haven't kept it up as well as I should. You see, she bought a house. And then we bought a house...in Davis County. I kept working at the law office, so I'd see and talk to her everyday, but we didn't hang out as couples anymore. Then I had Carter and I quit working there. I can't even believe it's almost been 3 years. And we rarely see each other. Now I read her blog, and follow her on instagram. Occasionally, we hang out. I miss her.
Carla is so...Oh Carla how do I describe you? A go getter? When she wants something. She does it. And she rocks it. She is out there creating her life the way she wants it to be. I love her for that. I feel like she's outgrown me, (insert frowny face). I've been pretty stagnant lately. I stay home a lot, and I'm not pushing myself. Some days I wish I could visit her and talk to her again. Then I feel like I don't have anything to say. Ugh. Unless its about diapers or breastfeeding or poop. There are only so many times you can talk about these things and then people don't want to be your friends anymore. Some days I don't want to be my friend anymore. But Carla, I will always want to be Carla's friend. She is the person who makes you feel better and more confident about yourself without even trying. She exudes energy and love. She is my original blogger friend. So go check out her blog, because then you'll love her too. (and then I'll probably get jealous, cuz I'm like that)
 |
| Hanging out last spring |
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Quote of the day
I wish I had some profound favorite quote to share with you. Today I don't have it in me to find one. So I'll share the two that keep coming to my mind. They aren't from anyone famous.
"The key to life is lower expectations."
-Shawn Brock
"Women are naturally more angelic and closer to God."
-Patrick Asay
I love the first...because too often I set myself up for disappointment. I want things to go perfectly and they don't. And I get sad/mad about it. It leaves me feeling unhappy. So I find, when I lower my expectations, it goes better and I am happier.
The second just makes sense to me. Sometimes as women we don't give ourselves enough credit. Every woman I know is spiritual and intuitive. God speaks to our hearts and he listens to our pleas. We just have to trust ourselves.
"The key to life is lower expectations."
-Shawn Brock
"Women are naturally more angelic and closer to God."
-Patrick Asay
I love the first...because too often I set myself up for disappointment. I want things to go perfectly and they don't. And I get sad/mad about it. It leaves me feeling unhappy. So I find, when I lower my expectations, it goes better and I am happier.
The second just makes sense to me. Sometimes as women we don't give ourselves enough credit. Every woman I know is spiritual and intuitive. God speaks to our hearts and he listens to our pleas. We just have to trust ourselves.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Uncomfortable.
There aren't a lot of things that make me uncomfortable any more. Something about giving birth and having your lady parts seen by a room full of people you've never met will do that to you.
There is one thing that makes me uncomfortable, but it's difficult to explain.
Awkward Social Interactions.
The show Seinfeld is the best, well known example. I absolutely cannot watch this show. (Believe me I've tried) It makes me cringe. Kramer. George. Newman. The way they act... I'm shuddering just thinking about it. It makes me so uncomfortable.
In any show if some awkward interaction is going on, I look away, cover my ears and if I have to, leave the room. I know it's supposed to be funny and reminiscent of real life. But I can't think of anything that makes me more uncomfortable.
There is one thing that makes me uncomfortable, but it's difficult to explain.
Awkward Social Interactions.
The show Seinfeld is the best, well known example. I absolutely cannot watch this show. (Believe me I've tried) It makes me cringe. Kramer. George. Newman. The way they act... I'm shuddering just thinking about it. It makes me so uncomfortable.
In any show if some awkward interaction is going on, I look away, cover my ears and if I have to, leave the room. I know it's supposed to be funny and reminiscent of real life. But I can't think of anything that makes me more uncomfortable.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
My not so secret obsession.
Day 2, Thursday: Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)
Family History.
I kept thinking this is too awkward, I don't know what to talk about...I'll just tell everyone how I do my hair. But I keep thinking about Family History...so you all get to learn a little about it.
I've been doing genealogy since I was in elementary school. I used to go look at census records with my mom when I was "off track". I'm such a nerd. I always feel out of place because I am like 30 years younger than anyone else at the family history library. But I'm good at it. Seriously. I can't do it all the time. Only when I feel impressed to do it. And when I do...I find people. And it is so rewarding. So if there is someone out there who possibly reads my blog, and is interested, this is for you.
Doing family history is easier than EVER before. The internet is an amazing tool. You're supposed to start with your family members and gathering information about people they knew. Then you just build. And that's awesome, but well. I would ask yourself this: Who is coming to your mind? Look for that person.
Go to www.familysearch.org It's the LDS churches family history site, and its a great place to start. They just re-did the whole thing and I'm not super familiar with the new format, but its easy enough to figure out.
Click the Search tab and start typing in the information that you know. (I'm trying to do a screen shot and it won't work in Blogger, so I guess you will just have to figure it out)
I would look for Margaret Cronin, I know she lived in England, and that she was born around 1860 (so I would put in a few years before and after 1858-1862). I know her mothers name was Ellen. So I put that in and search. Then you start looking at the search results and see if anything lines up. Now I already know (I've found it before), the 5th item down is her, on the 1881 Census because Daniel is my relative, and the Mom is Ellen, and there isn't another combination of those of those to be found on that census and the ages line up with what I already know. But mostly, and honestly, my searches are led by the Spirit, and common sense. If it seems logical (ages dates location and family members line up), and I feel good. If it feels right, like this is the person I'm looking for, then I save the information. Hopefully I can verify that is really is the person I'm looking for.
You can filter your results to try and find something more specific. I'm trying to find out if Margaret got married...You see she drops off the grid at after 1891...I don't know if she married or if she died. And for some reason I can't help thinking she got married. But I can't find her. I can't find it. So you can look for Marriages in England, or Marriages in a certain year. Sometimes it dead ends. It is super frustrating, because you don't know how to find someone. But sometimes (and these are the very best times) what you're looking for just shows up. Its like magic. And you just know that the record you found is for the person in your family tree. Mostly likely, that person WANTS to be found and they want their temple work done. (So you best get on going with it) FamilySearch has all the means to help you get that done, if you're interested.
Give it a try, you might like it. And I'm happy to help, or give pointers...even if you doubt my skills with what I just explained (because I don't edit....I've got to figure out what my 2 year old is getting into right now).
oh, and listen to your heart.
Family History.
I kept thinking this is too awkward, I don't know what to talk about...I'll just tell everyone how I do my hair. But I keep thinking about Family History...so you all get to learn a little about it.
I've been doing genealogy since I was in elementary school. I used to go look at census records with my mom when I was "off track". I'm such a nerd. I always feel out of place because I am like 30 years younger than anyone else at the family history library. But I'm good at it. Seriously. I can't do it all the time. Only when I feel impressed to do it. And when I do...I find people. And it is so rewarding. So if there is someone out there who possibly reads my blog, and is interested, this is for you.
Doing family history is easier than EVER before. The internet is an amazing tool. You're supposed to start with your family members and gathering information about people they knew. Then you just build. And that's awesome, but well. I would ask yourself this: Who is coming to your mind? Look for that person.
Go to www.familysearch.org It's the LDS churches family history site, and its a great place to start. They just re-did the whole thing and I'm not super familiar with the new format, but its easy enough to figure out.
Click the Search tab and start typing in the information that you know. (I'm trying to do a screen shot and it won't work in Blogger, so I guess you will just have to figure it out)
I would look for Margaret Cronin, I know she lived in England, and that she was born around 1860 (so I would put in a few years before and after 1858-1862). I know her mothers name was Ellen. So I put that in and search. Then you start looking at the search results and see if anything lines up. Now I already know (I've found it before), the 5th item down is her, on the 1881 Census because Daniel is my relative, and the Mom is Ellen, and there isn't another combination of those of those to be found on that census and the ages line up with what I already know. But mostly, and honestly, my searches are led by the Spirit, and common sense. If it seems logical (ages dates location and family members line up), and I feel good. If it feels right, like this is the person I'm looking for, then I save the information. Hopefully I can verify that is really is the person I'm looking for.
You can filter your results to try and find something more specific. I'm trying to find out if Margaret got married...You see she drops off the grid at after 1891...I don't know if she married or if she died. And for some reason I can't help thinking she got married. But I can't find her. I can't find it. So you can look for Marriages in England, or Marriages in a certain year. Sometimes it dead ends. It is super frustrating, because you don't know how to find someone. But sometimes (and these are the very best times) what you're looking for just shows up. Its like magic. And you just know that the record you found is for the person in your family tree. Mostly likely, that person WANTS to be found and they want their temple work done. (So you best get on going with it) FamilySearch has all the means to help you get that done, if you're interested.
Give it a try, you might like it. And I'm happy to help, or give pointers...even if you doubt my skills with what I just explained (because I don't edit....I've got to figure out what my 2 year old is getting into right now).
oh, and listen to your heart.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Blog Thoughts
I've been thinking about this little blog quite a bit. Should I start back up again? Should I just quit? I would love to post more...but what about all the other stuff I'm already not doing (like folding the laundry or mopping the kitchen floor)?
Then I saw this
over on Shay's blog and thought. I can do this. I can try this. I've never attempted something like this before. I'm sure going to try, even though we are going on a vacation next week, and the odds of my blogging are slim, I'm going to try.
Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)
I was born in Layton, Utah. My parents still live in the same house in Kaysville. I am the youngest of four kids, I firmly believe watching my siblings "grow-up" shaped who I am as a person. I love to read. I always have, always will. I am that shy awkward introverted girl. I met my husband in high school, but we didn't date until after he came home from his mission. I attended Utah State University and got a Bachelors Degree in Psychology with a Minor in International Studies. Logan will always hold a special place in my heart. The summer of 2006, I lived with my cousin, Jemela. I can't explain that summer, but I will never be the same. I cried a lot. I laughed a lot. I grew leaps and bounds. I am the girl with big hair. Shawn and I were married July 11, 2007. I can't believe we're coming up on six years! But then I remind myself that we have a house and two kids, and reality sets in. Carter was born in 2010, and I discovered I love being a mom. Being a mom was never something I wanted to be, but figured it would happen. Katelyn was born "naturally" in 2012, and it was one of the most empowering experiences of my life. I stay at home with them and try to stay sane. I feel like I'm re-discovering myself this year.
Wow 250 words go fast! See ya tomorrow!
Melissa
Then I saw this
over on Shay's blog and thought. I can do this. I can try this. I've never attempted something like this before. I'm sure going to try, even though we are going on a vacation next week, and the odds of my blogging are slim, I'm going to try.
Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)
I was born in Layton, Utah. My parents still live in the same house in Kaysville. I am the youngest of four kids, I firmly believe watching my siblings "grow-up" shaped who I am as a person. I love to read. I always have, always will. I am that shy awkward introverted girl. I met my husband in high school, but we didn't date until after he came home from his mission. I attended Utah State University and got a Bachelors Degree in Psychology with a Minor in International Studies. Logan will always hold a special place in my heart. The summer of 2006, I lived with my cousin, Jemela. I can't explain that summer, but I will never be the same. I cried a lot. I laughed a lot. I grew leaps and bounds. I am the girl with big hair. Shawn and I were married July 11, 2007. I can't believe we're coming up on six years! But then I remind myself that we have a house and two kids, and reality sets in. Carter was born in 2010, and I discovered I love being a mom. Being a mom was never something I wanted to be, but figured it would happen. Katelyn was born "naturally" in 2012, and it was one of the most empowering experiences of my life. I stay at home with them and try to stay sane. I feel like I'm re-discovering myself this year.
Wow 250 words go fast! See ya tomorrow!
Melissa
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